Reading Corner With Gandalf Greyhem
by SloTurtle
Summary: Gandalf's very own reading show! Rated T just in case someone wants Wolverine as a guest star.
1. The Borrowers

Disclaimer! I don't own Gandalf or any of the Characters. I'm not actually judging these books, I am just seeing them from Gandalf's point of view. I am sure all the books featured on this show are great.

**Following program brought to you and sponsored by: The Mirkwood Library- Where spiders eat dwarves.**

~Applaud~

~Gandalf is sitting in a red velvet reading chair with a lamp next to him.~

Gandalf- "Why hello young Hobbits-I mean readers. Today, we are discussing a book I read recently called 'The Borrowers'. As all of you know, I have LOTS of experience with small people. I do NOT recommend trying to write a book about even more of them, which are even SMALLER. It was the worst thing I have ever read."

~Gandalf picks up the book and throws it into the garbage~

~Small borrowers can be seen, climbing on Gandalf and tying his beard in knots as the screen fades away.~

A/n~ Leave in the reviews or PM me what books you want Gandalf to read next. Every now and then, Gandalf will have a special guest. Writer, Actor, Hobbit, Elf, Singer, Artist, Anything from Middle Earth to Modern day Universe. :3


	2. Hunger Games

**Following program sponsored by~ President Snow- "I'll eat your**** babies."**

Announcer- And back to... Reading With Gandalf!

~Gandalf is sitting in his chair by his fireplace~

Gandalf- "Hello readers! Good to see you're still here. Today I have read The Hunger Games...All three of them."

~Merry and Pippin run around in the back ground, getting chased by dwarves~

Gandalf- "These books were...OKAY, And someone suggested I have one of the characters as a special guest. Since Katniss used my Hobbits as target practice, I invited someone slightly less violent. Please introduce our special guest."

Announcer/Sam- Put your hands together for... Peeta Malark!

~Peeta comes in with his ugly greased back hair, and sits down in a chair next to Gandalf~

Gandalf- "Well, Peeta. Nice to see you again."

Peeta- "What do you mean?"

Gandalf- "Oh, I saw you at The Hunger Games Movie auditions. With my friend Legolas, He tried out for Katniss, I tried out for The dashing President Snow."

~Gandalf flips his hair in slow motion, majestically~

Peeta- "Yeah, Now I remember!"

~Peeta starts chuckling~

Gandalf- "Well, tell me how the KatPee is."

Peeta- "KatPee?!"

Gandalf-"KatPee! Or would you prefer Peeniss?"

~Peeta starts breaking out laughing again~

Gandalf- "Okay, looks like I'm getting nowhere with you. That's all the time we have today. Until next time!"

~Peeta continues rolling on floor laughing as Merry and Pippin trip on him and are squashed by dwarves.~


	3. Percy Jackson

Disclaimer! I don't own Gandalf or any of the Characters. I'm not actually judging these books, I am just seeing them from Gandalf's point of view. I am sure all the books featured on this show are great.

**Following program brought to you and sponsored by: Camp HalfBlood- Nothing safer than training your kids with sharp weapons**

Gandalf-"Hello readers. I have read yet another book! I know, surprising right? Anyways, the book that I have read is Percy Jackson: The Olympians."

~Sam taps Gandalf's shoulder~

Sam- "Uh, Mr. Gandalf sir. There are 7 Percy Jackson books."

Gandalf- "What!? Who in the name of Gondor would want to all that?"

Sam- "You have to sir. To rate the series."

**Announcer- We'll be right back after these brief messages!**

_Aragorn- "Got spiders? So did we! The we found Web-Away! This spray keeps all the annoying arachnids away, and it's fine for the environment! This fine invention was made by when they had a few problems with spiders their selves."_

Gandalf- "Okay! I FINALLY read all the books. They were so LAME! Gods and DemiGods are SO unrealistic!"

?- "What was that?"

Gandalf- "Oh...Uh it's our Guest star! Zeus! I was just telling the viewers how amazing your nephew's stories are!"

Zeus- "Yes, I suppose they're alright, But I think they should right a seven book series on MY daughter, The one who was killed and turned into a tree!"

Gandalf-"Huh? Oh yeah, Definitely.- Snore-"

~Zeus sighs and leaves~

-Snore-

~Merry and Pippin sneak in with hair dye, sparkles, permanent: glue, paint, and spray paint, and rainbow unicorn stickers~

A/n~ Leave in the reviews or PM me what books you want Gandalf to read next. Every now and then, Gandalf will have a special guest. Writer, Actor, Hobbit, Elf, Singer, Artist, Anything from Middle Earth to Modern day Universe. :3


	4. Twilight

**Following program sponsored by~ Treebeard's Beard dye- "Now In An Assortment Of New Colors.****"**

~Gandalf is sitting in his chair, his beard dyed pink and rainbow unicorn sparkles stickers are stuck to him.~

Gandalf- "Hello Readers. Yes, I am aware of my ghastly appearence, Kili!"

Fili- "Looks like Merry and Pippin turned you into Gandalf The Gay!"

~Gandalf holds up literature book.~

Gandalf- "Be gone demons!"

Fili and Kili- "HIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIISSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!"

Gandalf- "Ahem- Anyways. I have read another book, Twilight...Remember when I said The Borrowers was the worst book I have ever read? Well I was bloody wrong with that one!"

~Throws book to Frodo and points at fireplace~

Gandalf- "Cast it into the fire Frodo!"

Frodo- "But, It has sexy werewolves in it..."

~Gandalf hits Frodo on the head with his staff~

Frodo- "Ow! Okay, Okay!"

~Cast!~

Gandalf- 'Sigh' "It is done."

Frodo- "You do know that there are like a million other copies of every single Twilight book and movie in every single store in the world, right?"

~Gandalf looks horrified~

Gandalf- "It is as I feared... It has already begun."

~Lightning flash~


	5. School Of Tooks-I mean Fear (Same thing)

**Following program sponsored by~ School Of Fear- "We can scare the irrational fears right out of you!****"**

~Gandalf is still dyed pink and covered in sparkles and whatnot~

Gandalf- "Hello, readers. I have read School Of Fear. It made me think about a lot of things that scare me. Spiders(Shelob), Demons(Balrog), My mother In-law(Satan),Hobbits when they don't get any food, Lambas, And all sorts of other evil things. I think that I can relate to this book quite a bit."

~Something stirs in the background~

Gandalf- "I like this book the most out of all the ones on this show so far."

~Merry and Pippin have Oni masks on. They jump on Gandalf~

Gandalf- 'Girlish scream' "AAHHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"

~Gandalf slams his staff onto the two Hobbits and throws a bottle of alchohol on them~

Merry and Pippin- "Uuuuuuggggghhhhh..."

Gandalf- "Merry Brandybrook and Perrigrim Took! I should have known!"

~Gandalf holds Pippin in the air~

Gandalf- "Fool of a Took!"


	6. Gaaaaaaaaaaaasp! Hugh Jackman!

**Following Captions sponsored and brought to you by: Xavier's school for gifted youngsters- "Where you dump your freaks-uh I mean kids."**

~Gandalf's pink beard is fading back to white, and the glitter is rubbing off. There are also red marks where the stickers where permanantly glued.~

Gandalf- "Hello Readers, Gandalf here. I have FINALLY read ALL of these X-men: Wolverine comic books and seen all the movies. And might I say, If I were a woman, I would be KISSING this comicbook right now! ~Reads piece of scrap paper that was just now handed to~"By my beard! Our special guest today is Wolverine!"

~Hugh Jackman walks in~

H.J- "My name is Hugh Jackman."

Gandalf- "Oh, don't be silly Logan!" ~Pokes muscles~"Teehee! Ahem, How does that not hurt?"

H.J- "What?"

Gandalf- "The claw thing, They slid out and stuff. Don't they cut you? It's gotta hurt man."

H.J- "I'm not Wolverine! And those claws are just special effects!"

Gandalf- "Woah, no need to get angry." ~Dives behind chair, afraid of antimentiam claws~"This furniture is new, so don't tear it up!"

H.J- 'Sigh' "Ok, bye Gandalf." ~Gets up and walks away~

Gandalf- 'Gaaaasp!' "He knows my name!"

~Off screen, Sam/Director Facepalms from the stupidity happening in the room.~

A/n.

Next episode, to celebrate all you amazing people. I am having a contest! Review or Pm who the next guest star and book should be!


	7. The Neverending Story (Contest!)

Disclaimer! I don't own Gandalf or any of the Characters. I'm not actually judging these books, I am just seeing them from Gandalf's point of view. I am sure all the books featured on this show are great.

**Following program brought to you and sponsored by: Bookman's Library- Where stories never end.**

Gandalf- "Hello, again. I finished The Neverending story. Don't let the title fool you, it doesn't truly stretch on into eternity. Just to the outer rims of the universe. I loved the book very much, the movies were almost as good. And the guest star, Is okay."

Sam/Director- "Please welcome. Falkor the dragon!"

~Justin Bieber walks in with his pants around his knees~

JB- "Sup."

Gandalf- "Hello Falkor. I am a big fan." ~Shakes hand~

JB- "Uh, Falk-wha?"

Gandalf- "Oh haha. A luck dragon that can't remember his name. You're hilarious, Falkor."

JB- "Man, I ain't no Falkor. I be Justin Bieber, Man."

Gandalf- 'Screams' "AHHHHHH!" ~Dumps alchohol and gasoling on JB and throws a lighter on him, JB sets a blaze and runs around screaming~

JB- "AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

Gandalf- "Well, now that THAT is over... SloTurtle has some short, important messeges for you lovely people." ~Looks down and stomps fire out of robe~

A/n~ Leave in the reviews or PM me what books you want Gandalf to read next. Every now and then, Gandalf will have a special guest. Writer, Actor, Hobbit, Elf, Singer, Artist, Anything from Middle Earth to Modern day Universe. :3

Contest! 

Whoever wins, gets to pick whatever Movie, Book, or whatever is fetured on the next episode! All you have to do is be the first person to answer this question correctly.

Who is the Director of this show?


	8. Harry Baggins! (Contest results)

**Following program sponsored by~ Hogwarts- "What isn't more welcoming than something off of a pig's face?****"**

Gandalf- "Hello readers, I believe most of you are wizards and warlocks, like me. Except, you don't have magic like me, you just read lots of books. Anyways, I finally read the very recommended, Harry Potter. These books aren't AS BAD as the movies. I have to say, I think that I have become a fan of this series. Who is our guest, by the way?"

Sam/Director- 'Mumbles'

Gandalf- "Oh, well. That's too bad. I was really hoping to meet Dumbledore. Uh, I'm sorry readers, But Dumbledore has met with a very unfortunate, Hobbit related, accident. He won't be able to join us today... We still have two minutes to kill... So, here is Legolas break-dancing."

~Legolas comes out into the room and does The Wabble~

A/n- We have a WINNER! Savespot... I knew she would be the winner. Mostly cause she reads my stuff constantly. Savey, Pick your book/movie and guest star!


	9. Jayfeather (Important announcement)

**Following program sponsored by~ Thunderclan- "We're better than the other clans!"****  
**

Gandalf- "Hello readers, I finally finished the books so far of the series... Warriors by Erin Hunter. I quite admire one of the characters in particular. So, please welcome. Jayfeather!"

~Jayfeather stumbles blindly into the room~

Pippin- "Kitty!" ~rushes over and picks up Jayfeather~

~Jayfeather hisses and scratches the young Hobbit. After Pippin runs away crying, Jayfeather locates and sits down in the plush chair next to Gandalf.~

Gandalf- "Hello Jayfeather. Glad to have you on my show."

Jayfeather- "Hi Gandalf. Glad to be here."

Gandalf- "So, first thing's first. Questions from some of the viewers. Jayfeather, Why are you so grumpy?"

Jayfeather- "Who asked that!? I'm not grumpy! It's none of your beezwax!"

Gandalf- " Ok. Hey Jayfeather. You're a medicine cat, how's it feel to constantly be breaking the code?"

Jayfeather- "No. Friggin. Comment."

Gandalf- "Well. It seems like we've run out of time here! Lets thank the amazing, CHEERFUL, cat. Goodbye Jayfeather."

Jayfeather- "Yeah, whatever... mousebrain."

A/n- Hey guys, I know this is pretty short, but Jayfeather is pretty hard to work with... So, this one was pretty boring. Oh BTW, the season finale is coming up soon. And we are going out with a BANG!


	10. Sorry, Second to last Little boring

**Following program sponsored by~ Sparkely Spark's Sparkles- "SPARKLES!"****  
**

~Gandalf is wearing a T-shirt and golf pants.~

Gandalf- "Hey, Readers. I am dressed oddly because i'm going to a End Season party after this. So, i must hurry quite a bit.

I have read, on request, one of the Maximum Ride books. It isn't as FABULOUS as the other manga series i've read, but all the same, It was a fine book and i would like to thank nerdist2000 for suggesting it."

*Sexy an i know it*

~Gandalf picks up phone~

Gandalf- "Hello? Legolas, yes i'm going. I'm on my way. Okay. Yeah. OKAY, BYE."

Announcer- "Tune in next time for the season finale! We are sure to go out with a bang."


	11. Finale part1

Disclaimer! I don't own Gandalf, The Doctor or any of the Characters. I'm not actually judging these books, I am just seeing them from Gandalf's point of view. I am sure all the books featured on this show are great.

**Following program brought to you and sponsored by: Party Harty's party shop- With all your party in a can needs.**

~Gandalf is wearing a white jump suit and has smudged, and faded, POWNED written on his forehead in permanent marker. ~

Gandalf-"Hello readers. As you know, this is our last episode, Yes I know, and we are sad too-"

~Legolas fumbles out of the closet yelling~

Legolas-"WOOOOOOOT! NO MORE HOBBITS!"

~Legolas runs outside and kisses Aragorn cause he so happy. Then Legolas starts doing the wabble.~

Gandalf- "Uh... Anyways, This episode is going to be a bit longer and with a few more surprises. I hope everyone loves this episode. Because we have our Special Guest (WAY more special than other guests) Doctor Who!"

~Applause~

~The 11th Doctor walks in with a bowtie, fez, long scarf, cool jacket, cane, and his sonic screwdriver.~

Doctor- "Hello Gandalf. I am glad to finally meet you."

~Doctor and Gandalf shake hands, looking like giant fangirls meeting One Direction.~

Gandalf- "Well, Doctor. You better get the show started."

~Gandalf walks off set~

Doctor- "Right. We have a great show for you tonight, we have musical guest Ed Sheeran here, ladies and gents. And we ask all the cast how their Reading Corner With Gandalf experience has been. We also have some more surprises for you, LET IT BEGIN!"

~Ed Sheeran plays 'I See Fire' and 'A Thousand Matches'~

Doctor- "That was bloody brilliant! Up next we get to talk some of the most famous wizards in middle earth... and London."

~Dumbledore walks out of the TARDIS (Which is in the background) and sits in a plush chair~

Dumbledore- "Greetings, wizards and ... midgets?"

Doctor- "I heard from Gandalf that you couldn't make it on this show because your most trusted teacher killed you."

Dumbledore- "Yes, well Snape went back in time and saved me. So now we're even."

~Frodo walks across screen, eating an apple.~

Crew member- "Frodo! You're in the shot!"

Frodo- "Oh. Right, sorry."

Dumbledore- "No, it's quite alright. I'm fine with sharing the spotlight with someone so handsome."

Frodo- "Hey you're Dumbledore!"

Dumbledore- "I am."

Frodo- "Aren't you gay?"

Dumbledore- "Stupify! Expelliamis!"

~Frodo trips and crashes into Merry & Pippin.~

Doctor- "Uh Dumbledore?"

Dumbledore- "Hmm?" checks pink, sparkly, pocket watch. "Oh I must go, I am tutoring Harry Potter."

~Dumbledore hops on a broom~

Dumbledore- "Dumbledore, Away!"

~Doctor is processing what just happened~

. . .

Doctor- "Okay, Next wizard is Radagast the Brown."

~Radagast busts out of TARDIS, on his magical, flying, ruscabell rabbits.~

Doctor- "Aww, man! You better clean up what they did in there!"

Radagast- "Alright." ~Sits and strokes his hedgehog, Sebastian.~

Doctor- "So, what's your favorite food?"

Radagast- "Mushrooms"

Doctor- "What's your favorite plant?"

Radagast- "Mushrooms"

Doctor- "what's your favorite color?"

Radagast- "Mushroom."

~Sebastian pees on Radagast's hat, making the bird poo smudge.~

Radagast- "Oh, you naughty hedgehog! Sorry Doctor, I'd love to stay and chat about mushrooms, but I must go."

~Radagast hops on his rabbits. They trample Sam, Bilbo, And the other hobbits.~

Doctor- "Please don't let this one be addicted to Mushrooms. Now it's Saruman the White!"

~Saruman is carried in by an Uru-kai~

Doctor- "So, I understand that you don't like, ANYONE."

Saruman- "Not true, I like myself... In some ways."

Doctor- "So, tell us about yourself."

Saruman- "Well, my great grand mother was born in the impudent town of- Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah-" ~Talking goes on for hours~

Saruman- "And that is how I made my first slice of toast."

Doctor- "Well, that was ... Interesting?"

Sam- "Saruman, you're a traitor! Get off my show!"

~Saruman storms off to Isenguard, to lecture the Uru-kai.~

* * *

Doctor- "We'll be right back after these short messages."

Announcer- "One wizard...Two Hobbits... Thirteen Dwarfs... One dragon... And one insanely epic adventure. Come read 'An EXTREMELY Unexpected Journey' Coming to Sloturtle's pages near you."

* * *

Doctor- "And, we're back! We have our first celebrity guest here, Stan Lee!"

~Stan Lee sits down, wearing a Marvel X-men t-shirt~

Doctor- "I'm such a huge fan!"

Stan Lee- "Do I say it now?"

~Doctor nods~

Stan Lee- "Get the rest on The Finale part2!"


End file.
